We Don't Have To Put Up With This

In Her Words, New York Times, October 20, 2020

We Don’t Have To Put Up With This

According to the Mayo Clinic: Urine incontinence, or the involuntary leakage of urine, is a common symptom that affects 1 in 4 women. Prevalence of this problem increases with age, as up to 75 percent of women above age 65 report urine leakage.

The New York Times October 20, 2020 "In Her Words" newsletter featured an interview with Mara Altman, a journalist and the author of “Gross Anatomy: Dispatches From the Front (and Back),” a book that takes an unapologetic look at the parts of our bodies that we don’t discuss, try to ignore and often feel shame about. Also interviewed, Luce Brett, the author of the memoir, “PMSL: Or How I Literally Pissed Myself Laughing and Survived the Last Taboo to Tell the Tale,” exploring her decade-long battle with postpartum incontinence.

For your reading pleasure, curated below are a few extracts from that interview:

Mara: The stats on “broken fannies,” to borrow your words, Luce, are astonishing to me — one woman in three will experience incontinence at some point in her life.

Luce: Earlier this year, I spoke at a World Federation for Incontinence and Pelvic Problems event in London — I know, life goals! — but it was so interesting. The figures are astonishing. Globally, the figure stands at around 400 million people. And all the experts say the case numbers are underreported. And women are affected more than men.

Mara: Exactly. I mean, I wrote a whole chapter about anuses and yet I still found it difficult to ask my doctor to take a good close gander back there when mine felt unwieldy and questionable after the birth of my twins.

Luce: People have asked me a lot about why I wrote this book when I am inclined to being squeamish and it feels so uncomfortable. For me, it was three things: First, the statistics — yes, they offered comfort that I wasn’t alone, but they are also an absolute outrage. Why were we not doing something about it when there are loads of treatments and cures? Second, a research study said sick people in the hospital considered double incontinence to be a state worse than death. Third, my primary care physician said I was the first person in all her years of practicing to talk to her about how depressing bowel incontinence is. I just kind of thought, ‘Enough!’ I looked around and nobody else seemed to want to dive in, so I did. I mean, seriously, we need to change the conversation.


Luce: I think that we joke when we are nervous, to make things palatable. It also really helps educate people and break the ice. But incontinence is serious and really does affect lots of people and really isn’t treated with enough seriousness and compassion. And that means people don’t treat themselves with seriousness and compassion. I didn’t treat myself with seriousness and compassion: I made a huge mess of things, got angry, absorbed the stigma, was self-loathing, and I wanted to share that too, even though it no doubt reflects badly at some points in my story. If we just laugh about it, then other people like me just have to laugh too, and I don’t know if that is fair or the best — or only — way to move forward.

Mara: That really speaks to me. I agree. I think humor is a great way in for a lot of people, but at some point, it’s time to get real and say, “We don’t have to put up with this!”

We DON'T have to put up with this! There are loads of treatments, and, fortunately, Deborah Bowes, PT, DPT, GCFP, has developed one approach to Pelvic Health and Awareness that is drug-free and available to all.

Don’t wait until age, adversity, injury, surgery or illness disrupts your pelvic floor mechanisms. Your future self thanks you for starting this work now!