More on Meh: Mastery, Mindfulness and Mattering
Languishing Still? Despite (rumored) spring, find yourself muddling through the day, empty? Me too.
Thoughts from “The Happiness Lab” podcast and TED Talk with Adam Grant on Languishing
Adam Grant wrote the NYT article on languishing. He was hoping the article would initiate a discussion of dealing with the condition. Instead, he reports, it got people very excited about being blah, without remedies.
His answer to “MEH” was Mario Kart. I would like to suggest an ATM class.
“Meh” is a one-word description of a state of languishing. It’s that listlessness that dampens ambition and dulls delight. It’s not loneliness. Not boredom. Not burnout. It’s its own thing, the neglected cousin of actual depression, part of the human condition.
“Flow” is the antidote proposed by Adam Grant and “Happiness Lab” podcast host Dr. Laurie Santos. Flow, as in finding oneself in a near-hypnotic state, unaware of the outside world, rapt with attention to some object of attention.
They share a love of binge watching for temporary relief from the blahs. However, there’s binging and there’s binging. Getting deep into dark worlds can do damage. A ”Tiger King” intensive: not so great. Happy, beautiful animation land: on the whole, healthier. Word games, computer games and other engrossing activities that are just challenging enough are also good options for taking us into flow.
But fictional characters don’t know us, and solo word games can only take us so far out of ‘meh’. For Grant the magical formula proved to be “Mastery, Mindfulness and Mattering.”
Mastery - a sense of progress. It doesn’t have to be Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours. Small wins matter and keep us motivated; the slightly harder crossword puzzle offers tremendous satisfaction. To add a little from “The Huberman Lab” podcast on setting goals, mastery comes with goals that are specific, in range, benefits visualizable, and - this is the surprise - failures tangible. Apparently, science indicates that fear of failure is a more powerful long-term motivator than any happy visualized outcome.
Mindfulness - focusing full attention on a single task. Did you know the average person checks email 74 times a day? That kind of distraction is called “time confetti,” shredding time into tiny, useless fragments. Flow requires better boundaries and time commitments! Uninterrupted blocks of time are treasures to cherish.
Mattering - meaningful purpose, knowing the affect our work or presence has on others gives weight to our actions. A five-minute favor makes a huge difference to both the recipients and the givers.
Flow is the fun that lights the path out of the void.
For Grant, a weekly, online mid-COVID Mario Kart competition with his sister and kids lifted him out of meh. He focused (only looked at his phone between rounds, and had to stay pinned to keep up with his brother-in-law), got boosted on small hits of mastery (the perfectly place banana peel to trip his sister) , connected with his family (when do we get to play again, Dad?), and had FUN.
In his TED talk, Grant reminds us it’s okay to be meh. Hyper happiness is bull, an American conceit.
My conclusion is obvious. What brings mastery, mindfulness, mattering and delight? Awareness Through Movement. If you’ve been away, time to come back.
For you, me, and the group, come to class. Build mastery, go into mindfulness and matter.